lost in translation
lost in translation
I often write on the idea of time. Its the one thing in life that I will always be fascinated by. With time comes all of life’s pains, joys and lessons. If you sit still and think on it you can actually feel it pass you by. At least thats what I believe. Its a complex thing. You can get to it through so many avenues. Smell, touch, sounds. I’m attached to nature for many reasons, but one of them is time. I can return to the same hill and nearly watch memories play before my eyes. The smell of dirt in the air. The touch of a rusty horse shoe in-between dirt and rock. The noise of rabbits rustling through dead twig. These all bring me back to moments that I love. Seasons of life that made me who I am today. And yet time as good as it can be, it can also destroy your soul if you do not respect it for what it is. I have seen myself and so many people view it as a curse. As a way to self pity for how it dealt the “wrong cards”. If time is not viewed as perfect wisdom for the very things you cant understand then you will waste your soul away trying to show you are being cheated, when in realty you are being dealt the very best thing for you. I swear as painful as the passing of time is, it is also the very thing that brings me joy. The memory of a deer can make me sad because that is all it is - a memory. Or I can approach that memory with awe every time understanding that i was one of the very few that got to lay eyes on its beauty.
My grandma is dead. My niece may be taken away forever. My brother is not who I once knew. My dad will never hear me. My friend was strangled to death for drugs. My sister lost twins. My friend died of cancer.
All the above is truth. They have all happened. And they are all painful truths. Before they were truths that would ruin my day. Even at times I let myself view them as moments that should destroy all joy. In reality though they are wisdom and lessons and journeys made specifically for me. Not a single other person will deal with them the way I have to, but thats okay. Each of us have our own. And each of us can look back and see the beauty of the difficult time. Let time teach you. Let time make more time.
Go against the grain and tell a story the way your imagination projects it on the walls of your skull. Then you will know true art.
This scene will always make my eyes and heart choke. I can’t seem to get over the freshness of it. No matter how many times I see it. The writing, the acting… all of it. The camera work so simple. It works - each time that I watch it.
Music takes me back. Music keeps me close to the distant. Music keeps me going. Music helps me deal. Music helps me write. Music reminds me that I feel a little differently then 98% of the people I sit in the church pew with.
Images lets me hold on. Images lets me hold on. Images lets me hold on.
Writing shows me what I I’m often afraid to say, but need to say, need to tell.
The combination is film. The combination is all I know.
My girl she keeps me at it. I would have quit a long time ago, but she knows me better then I do.
Pew might be empty one day, but she will still be there. Hand in hand.That is a real girl. Through the ink. Through the tears. Through the laughs about our messed up souls. Dig it.
INT: Production Office, 6th floor overlooking Sunset BLVD. - DAY
Jim stumbled into the empty office in rush. He slammed the door as gently as he could. In the same motion he answered his half shattered phone.
Ira: What do you want to be? What do you want to do with your life?
Jim switched the phone from his right hand to his left. He rubbed his neck with his right.
Jim: The last time I was in your office. I… You scared me. You showed me.. You reminded me that I always have and always will want to direct. I don’t want to operate camera. I don’t want to assist. I need to direct. I’m going to direct and this is out I’m going to go after it. I’m scared out of my mind though.
Ira: Stop. You don’t have a reason to be scared. Look, Noam… I like this guy. I respect him. His work is genuine work. When I first came to Hollywood I started off doing what you are about to do. I’m always a phone call away. Do it. Do it well. Survive. Let me know.
Jim: You are right. Thanks. Thanks a lot, actually.
Cut to black.
In a blink of an eye over a decade has passed me by. Film being the structure of years passed. I have dreamt of hundreds of characters, towns, and worlds. I have shaken the hands of angry executives and cut ends with the closest of friends. The passion never wavered. My eyes now open to something that can appear so far off, but the more I get lost in the art of it the more I find myself feeling like I have returned to an old home. I can look back and see the the several who lost hope. I envy little about them. I look forward and see several that have much, but none of which I desire. The battle is why I did what I did. Why did I choose this. The depth of the search increases, and the answer only seems farther. Yet every morning I open the door to this structure that I have no memory of and feel as if I have once lived a full life right inside.
Woke up early this morning. Walked to the local coffee shop. Purchased a drink and read a book. I then quickly realized how much I have stopped the habits I once loved, and how I have wasted 4 months of mornings. It was a horrible feeling that I wish on no one.
Hello new chapter of life.
one of the earlier movies I made with my best friends at the time, mocking how christians get crazy with their church games. Good times with good people. Oh how the times have changed so much.